Saturday, September 13, 2008


My restaurant chain idea

A couple months ago I had an idea for a themed restaurant chain. The theme would be that the entire restaurant would be upside-down. Now, I know, you're probably asking "Karl, what do you sit on if the place is upside-down?". Well, when I was having dinner on my birthday, thank you (I'm saying thank you to the 'happy belated birthday' you just said to yourself), I noticed all the air ducts and A.C. vents on the ceiling were raised (or lowered). Those would make perfect tables! And one could sit Indian style on the ceiling (floor). "How would you sit at the bar?" you ask, well, the bar table would extend all the way to the ceiling (floor) so you would rest your drinks on the bottom (top) of the table. "Now, Karl, how would people get in the door?". That one we'd have to give in a little, the doors would be normal. Although, technically half of the door is outside, so we could get away that and still be true to our upside-down theme. Maybe the handles could upside-down or something. "So, what's food going to be like?". Well, you're in for a treat. See, the food will also be served upside-down! So, imagine getting a burger on the top bun! Whoa! Or a pizza with the crust touching your top teeth when you bite in! Yeawza! People will fall in love with the idea (after finding it irritating and annoying at first) because we really stick to the idea that everything is upside-down! "That's cool, how will you serve drinks?". Well that one..... alright! You got me! I haven't thought this all the way through. There's probably no way around serving drinks upside-down because all the fluids will spill out and people will never get used to that. Plus, we'd never make up our losses on the money we'd lose on the spilled drinks (we'd have free refills, by the way). Are you happy? You've crushed a little boys dream of having a chain of themed restaurants by be-raiding me with all these fucking questions. I'll never have as successful a restaurant chain as you dad! Everyone can go sit on a dick. Unless you enjoy that- then I hope you never have anal again.

Wait, all this talk about sodomy has given me a new restaurant idea.


Thermoses could be a possible answer to the "drink spilling issue." Or Kool-Aid packets that mix with the guests saliva could work too.
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